


Firsts and Lasts

by IllegalCerebral



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Childhood Memories, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Memories, Morning After, Spencer Reid/Ethan mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllegalCerebral/pseuds/IllegalCerebral
Summary: “When was the first time you fell in love?” Max asked suddenly. Her face was half buried in the pillow and her tone was sleepy, wistful. Still, it made Spencer pause, his hands gripping the sheets as he studied his ceiling. Max shifted closer to him. “If it’s a sad story you don’t have to tell me.”The new couple reflects on the past one sleepy Sunday morning.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Brenner/Spencer Reid
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Firsts and Lasts

**Author's Note:**

> **I do not give consent for this story to be copied and reposted to another platform. I only post my work here and on my tumblr, if your see this story anywhere else it has been stolen.**

Both Max and Spencer were awake, snuggled close, and wrapped in layers of blankets, content to just spend the entire Sunday morning in bed listening to the sound of light rain against the window. It was the first weekend in about a month that Spencer hadn’t been working. He had switched his phone off as soon as he had left the office on Friday, determined spend every minute he could with Max. Only six months together and he was still falling.

“When was the first time you fell in love?” Max asked suddenly. Her face was half buried in the pillow and her tone was sleepy, wistful. Still, it made Spencer pause, his hands gripping the sheets as he studied his ceiling. Max shifted closer to him. “If it’s a sad story you don’t have to tell me.” There had been a lot of sad stories. Some Spencer had told in detail, like his mother’s illnesses and others (most if he was honest), like bullying at school and being kidnapped and drugged, he glossed over. Some stories were still to be told.

“It’s not sad,” Spencer said, which was technically true. He hadn’t thought about it for a while he realised with a tinge of guilt.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Max shifted and propped her head up on her hand. There was an almost playful glint in her eye but it was soft. There was no danger.

“Okay,” Spencer didn’t turn to her. He stayed staring at the ceiling, lids heavy as he half returned to a hot summer in Vegas when he was around thirteen or fourteen. He had been home from college and dealing with the complicated feelings of returning and finding things both too different and too similar. “The first time I fell in love it was with my best friend. It’s…kind of a cliché.”

“Did she feel the same way?”

“He did.” He lets the pronoun hang in the air for a moment but there was no reaction from Max. When Spencer glanced her way she was looking at him expectantly.

“What happened?”

“I came home for the summer and my Mom was having a decent time. She had a new job and was out of the house a lot. Ethan’s home was kind of dysfunctional so he spent a lot of time at mine and we were both going through a phase where we were trying to figure out what we wanted to do with our lives. It just sort of…grew I guess.”

“That’s nice. What happened after summer?”

His mother had gotten worse. The final week of summer vacation Spencer hadn’t seen Ethan at all and the pain of that had hit with intensity that was frightening and so he had waited on the street outside Ethan’s house for an hour on his final night before going home. His feet wouldn’t obey him, no matter how much he wanted to go and knock on the door Spencer just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

It had been Christmas the next time the saw each other. Ethan’s parents had divorced and the boy Spencer loved was angry and withdrawn. They had kissed under the mistletoe away from prying eyes but it hadn’t felt like the previous times. They were still friends when Spencer went back but the summer romance had ended. It became another thing that Spencer put in a box and filed away.

He always approached his feelings and desires clinically, analysing the logic of the situation and ignoring anything that resisted that approach. He re-opened that particular box less and less over the years but when he did it was at arms length with kid gloves.

“Do you still talk to him?”

“Yeah I do,” Spencer’s smile was genuine, “but probably not as often as I should. He helped me through a rough patch years ago and since then I try and check in on him twice a year. He’s married now, he and his husband are musicians in New Orleans.”

“That’s nice. I like thinking about all the people I grew up with. All the children that became adults. I hope they’re happy.”

Spencer rolled over and studied the look on her face, unable to describe what it was. Beautiful yes but he couldn’t articulate the emotion. Or perhaps he couldn’t articulate the emotions it stirred in him.

“What about your first love?” he asked instead.

“There was a boy in my high school called Will Maguire. He was kind of the class clown, he would play jokes on all the teachers, but he never got in trouble because everyone liked him so much and he did it because he hated seeing people sad. One of the girls in our English class got really sick one year and he persuaded everyone to cut all their hair off in solidarity and sent her pictures while she was in hospital. For a year after my Mom left us he would spend every class telling me these really terrible jokes to cheer me up. It was the only time I smiled for about six months straight.”

“Wow. Did he feel the same way?”

“Oh hell no.” Max laughed. “When the girl from English class got better they became a couple. It was really sweet but I was crushed.”

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” said Spencer, pulling her close.

“Heartbreak is a part of life,” said Max with a sigh. “Still, he was a nice boy to have my heart broken by. What more can you ask for?”

“Do you ever think-” Spencer started slowly, “-about being someone’s first love?”

Max raised an eyebrow then blinked as she considered the question.

“One of Eloise’s friends had a crush on me but I set her straight as gently as I could. It was just a crush though. What about you?”

“Oh I was never someone’s first love,” Spencer snorted. He would have liked to have been though.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Sell yourself short.” Max gave him a playful shove before wriggling out of bed. She grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it around her before jogging to the kitchen. A moment later Spencer heard the coffee maker start up, followed by the waft of the special hazelnut blend Max had bought over for him weeks before.

Spencer pulled on a sweater and loose pants and padded to the doorway. Max was humming to herself as she searched for mugs, skin still flushed from sleep and hair sticking up at odd angles.

In that moment he was struck by a sense of certainty. Maybe he had never been someone’s first love but he was sure he wanted to be the last person Max fell in love with.


End file.
